While I’m in DC for a few days Field Correspondant Beta Blognut has left us with arguably the most unappetizing photo I’ve ever seen. And is that a horseshoe crab?

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Field Correspondant Beta Blognut returns with part two of his Asian Donut expose. Check out part one here, or just scroll down. And for those who’ve been asking, I’m in the process of updating my Donut Shop links and should get to all the recent Reader Suggestions shortly.

A line runs down the block at this famous soup dumpling shop in Shanghai and the kitchen is cramped full of cooks grabbing at a pink mountain of raw pork.

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I intended to post last night but instead ended up at the Handsome Furs show at The Bowery Ballroom, which was INSANELY good and Dan Boeckner can’t write a bad song. But thankfully Blognut field corresponent, Beta Blognut, has stepped in with Shanghai Surprise #1. And stay tuned for more of Beta’s Asian Donut reporting in the coming weeks.

Beta Blognut finds himself in the Olympic host city of Beijing. Almost the first thing you see coming from the airport is the vaguely donut-shaped Olympic Stadium, also known as the bird’s nest. Construction goes on at all hours of the night, and Beijing’s skyline is filled starbursts of experimental architecture, lording over where hutongs once huddled. Rem Koolhaas’ controversial CCTV building continues to garner press. The cantilevered, 230-meter towers have no right angles, the resulting structure instead that of a loop. Critics and proponents alike call it “The Twisted Doughnut.”

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Blognut’s taking the weekend off to celebrate Christmas three weeks early. But Donut coverage continues as field correspondent K steps in with a story out of my former home town of Charlottesville, Virginny.

This Friend-of-Blognut specializes in finding Donuts in donut-scarce environments. She leaves the Donut-heavy locales, like L.A. for example, to the professional. Considering all the other eating that can be done here, Charlottesville’s downtown mall is pretty light on Donuts. Until a couple years ago, one could find a morning homemade Donut at Chaps, the old-timey ice-cream parlor with the formica table tops, aqua blue pleather booths, and aluminum walls. But around the time Blognut came into existence, the Donuts at Chaps disappeared. FOB has been hassling Tony LaBua, Chaps’ super-gregarious proprietor, to start supplying them again, for the love of God. Tony was full of promises but no action for a couple years. FOB even threw out that she “writes for a Donut blog, you know” to try to light a fire under Tony.

During those lean years, unbeknownst to FOB, another fan was hassling Tony even more incessantly to start with the Donuts again. Nelson Lewis (pictured above) was constantly asking when the Donuts would reappear, and finally Tony made him put his money where his mouth was. Tony told Nelson that he would teach him to make the donuts and that if he was willing to do the job, he could be the agent who brought fried sweetness to the mall once again. Never one to let down his fellow man, Nelson rose to the challenge, and on Sept. 5 jof this year, joy, light, and Donuts returned to the downtown mall.

Before we get to the Donuts, some background on our heroes. Tony opened Chaps in 1985. Originally from West Islip, Long Island, Tony hails from an appropriately sugary past. His uncle owned a Carvel ice cream store in Charlottesville for 16 years, and his grandfather owned a grocery in Ozone Park, Queens, for 50 or 60 years, selling homemade ice cream and Italian ices.

On the day FOB sat down to talk Donuts with Tony, Nelson happened by. When Tony introduced me as a Donut field correspondent who would be writing on the Internets about Donuts, Nelson said “The good Lord must have meant for me to meet you today and sent me here!”

Chaps offers pistachio, chocolate, white cake, and sour cream donuts. So far, I haven’t been able to get there early enough to get a white cake, which is apparently wildly popular, but I have had other three kinds.

The pistachio: I love pistachios, but am usually disappointed by things that claim to taste like them. An exception is this pistachio donut. It’s got a glaze and nice nutty pieces on the outside, a wonderful, almost boozy taste, like a rum cake, and actual pistachio flavor. Super moist, some might say a bit greasy, but it works for me. Tony says the recipe is adapted from an employee’s pistachio cake from about six years ago.

The sour cream: As it should be: perfectly moist and rich. Very simple, with a small amount of glaze.

The chocolate cake Donut: not overly sweet, good cocoa flavor, as Blognut would say. It has a light glaze and would be good dunked in coffee, though sadly I had no coffee on hand the day I sampled one.

What is life without something to look forward to? Tony and Nelson have been experimenting with banana donuts, and when I mentioned the Carter Mountain apple cider Donuts, I could see the wheels turning in Tony’s head. If these wonders come to pass, you’ll hear about them on Blognut.

Chap’s Ice Cream
223 East Main Street
Charlottesville,

I know, it’s been awhile. It sucks that life and jobs and stuff have to interfere with Donuts. But thankfully Reverend Dick has stepped in with a fine piece of field correspondance from my favorite of all Donut shops, Spudnuts, in Charlottesville, VA. Plus he eats a Grillswith. Enjoy.

The other weekend, my associate and I sojourned out into the wild world of Charlottesville nightlife. We had every honorable intention of taking it easy. Just the week prior, we had ripped it up at the Jamestown Settlement as well as along the slimy streets of Colonial Williamsburg. Understandably, we were tired. Though intrepid adventurers, we are like reverse-vampires, sucking blood and life by day and tucking away from the world by night. But every now and again, the call of Pals is heard, and we soldier up to be graced by friends.

And, boy, we weren’t disappointed. Meeting K and politico-scientist-extraordinaire (and soon to be one-time assistant coach of the Wahoos!) P at the Blue Moon Diner, we were greeted with these fine words – “You can order the most expensive beer on the menu - You guys aren’t paying.” The former grad student in me, and the current grad student in my associate, took this and ran, ordering the finest lagers brewed by the oldest brewery in these fine states.

K and I being pals with Mr. and Mrs. Blognut, the conversation eventually turned to these very bits and bytes. Somewhere along the line, I let it slip that we had never enjoyed one of Cville’s finest offerings: The Grillsworth. This admission was met with shock. K said, “Holey brown word! You’re getting one. Tonight!”

Now, the Grillsworth has already been written about here, so I will spare too much discussion. But for those not yet familiar with that post, the GW consists of two Krispy Kreme plain glazed that are grilled and stuffed with vanilla ice-cream, sandwich style. [Interesting note: my associate is also named with a K. Two Ks! The same as Krispy Kreme! It was in the stars. Or at least the names.] The idea alone is worth a prize. Someone should call the Nobel committee. Now.

A few minutes later, our plate arrived. We stared at the dish full of magic in front of us and then looked each other in the eyes. I said to my associate, “It was nice knowing you, but I’m leaving you for desert.” She said, between bites, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” Luckily, we worked things out.
—

The next morning, being blissfully sated and not at all groggy (an obvious side-effect of the previous night’s gustatory delight), I took it upon myself to continue the donut-logged theme already established for the weekend. I stole myself out of bed nice and early, leaving my associate to dream about Daniel Craig, and hustled over to Spudnuts (another local landmark, rightfully praised by the Blognut). Once inside, I was greeted by the warm smell of fresh dough. Wearing my favorite denim cut-offs, a shirt that read Wow, and my favorite kicks, I pranced up to the counter and ordered two plain glazed and two chocolate glazed. Doughnuts in tow, I shimmied out the door and back to my car to head home.

My drive back was filled with two of my three favorite things, Bruce Springsteen’s “No Surrender” turned up loud and a bag full of heaven. It took every nerve not to pull over and eat all the doughnuts. I knew, however, that my third favorite thing was waiting for me at home, waiting for breakfast. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I let my associate down. As the Boss says, “No retreat, baby, no surrender!” When I arrived back at my apartment, I found my associate wide awake and reading. I asked her how Daniel Craig was going and she just stared at me. I said, “Spudnuts,” before finally tearing into the still-warm bag. [Again, I will spare the details, as Blognut has already done such a good job. I will, however, pass on the words of my green-eyed partner: “Spudnuts are so light that I think they might be nutritious!”] Needless to say, it was a GREAT morning.

—

If I learned anything from my weekend of raised dough, it’s that 1) Doughnuts are delicious, 2) Grilled doughnuts with ice-cream and pals are a little bit better, and 3) Pre-breakfast doughnuts with associates (and an E-Street soundtrack) are ace! Yow!

Rev. Donutz

Please welcome field-correspondant the Beta Blognut back to the pages of Blognut.

It’s that time of year again, wherein the Beta Blognut deems it time to eat another Donut and soars back over fly-over country to partake in the munchable fried delights of the Pacific Northwest (no, not a reference to smoking nuggs of kb). Last year, while we enjoyed the pleasures of Top Pot, we were bummed to have not tracked down a shop purportedly specializing in vegan donuts. Healthy vegan donuts, we might add, which on the surface sounds about as much fun as an amusement park that’s both sugar- and electricity-free.

Health food has thankfully changed much in the last decade though and a specialty shop like Mighty-O Donuts peddles a healthy donut that is not an oxymoron by any means. They not only revel in their contradictions –offering a ‘nut that is somehow organic, free of trans fats, and made with no animal products– but even embrace the stereotypes of their clientele, offering up “Good Cop” Specials (‘nut with a tall drip).

In all of Beta Blognut’s years of being dragged to co-ops and soy’n’spelt-peddling grocery stores by his zealot health-nut step-father, he must admit that he never thought he’d see the day when carob was a banned substance. That most odious chocolate knock-off that was the bane of health food eating, he is relieved to find the granola-munchers at Mighty-O carrying every licentious permutation of Chocolate Donut permissible.

Beta opts for the chocolate-on-chocolate affair. Demure, not too sweet, this fluffy cake ‘nut evokes nothing less than the taste and texture of a moist, rich bundt cake. This is healthy?! (A suppressed memory of carob bubbles up). Perhaps as a byproduct of its non-trans fat ways, the most curious aspect of this ‘nut is that it has a crispy bottom, giving it a texture unlike any other donut in recent memory.

Even when Beta preached vegetarianism (there will be no pics of Birkenstocks and hackey-sacks forthcoming), there remained a wariness to vegans and their ascetic refusal of milk and honey. It’s one thing to have enough primal scream therapy to overcome carob birthday cake, but wholly another to see vegetarian ‘bones’ and TVP molded into the shape of bacon or Thanksgiving turkey and passed off as ‘meat.’ Hence, there was great doubt as to how French toast could be pulled off with neither eggs nor milk. And while this wheat-colored ‘nut is a valiant effort, delicacies that normal folks like, be it French toast, sushi, Honey Nut Cheerios, beef tartar, and varmint should remain far from vegan palettes.

The most odd aspect of Mighty-O though is not all the slim, buff cops rolling in but the innumerable toddlers roaming the premises. In our scant time at Mighty-O, we count at least ten kids scooting about, which is made even more curious by the fact that Lady Beta (who is baby-crazy) is so consumed by the Sunday Times that her baby-dar doesn’t go off at all. It leads to a conspiracy that upon biting into the Mighty-Os peanut butter and jelly donut, said cakey elixir reverses the effects of aging, turning grown adult customers back into pants-crapping lads. Lord knows, the ‘nut is close to creating such a time-machine effect. With its pink glaze icing and chunks of roasted peanuts nestled in, the PB&J ‘nut is comfort food supreme. In an instant, we’re back in front of the tube for afternoon cartoons, enjoying a PB&J with the crusts lovingly lobbed off by mom.

Mighty-O Donuts
2110 N 55th Street
Seattle, Washington

Donut Scores:

Chocolate on Chocolate -

French Toast -

PB&J -

Last March (meaning 2006), Blognut broke free of his geocentric shackles for the first time and headed to Yummies Donuts in Venice, Florida. It was actually this initial venture outside of NYC-Donuts that made me decide to take this blog not only national, but international. If it weren’t for Yummies, there never would have been ass-tasting Parisian Donuts, or bland Viennese dough balls, or Donut-munching atop a 10,000 foot Hawaiian volcano. So thanks Yummies.

The reason Blognut was in Venice in the first place was to hang with Mr. and Mrs. Blognut-in-law, who spend three months a year relaxing in the Florida sun. I got to play sloppy golf wearing plaid shorts from Target and eat grouper sandwiches from a place called Marker IV. Then we all piled in the Subaru and headed to Yummies for one of my finest Donut experiences to date. Collectively, we took down a bag of Apple Fritters, Maple-Nut Rolls, Eclairs, and in Yummies’ finest feat of Donut-achievement, Honey-Glazed Blossoms. The Blossom was so good in fact, it recently placed in Blognut’s first anniversary top ten Donut list.

So imagine my disappointment when I realized that day-job responsibilities would prevent me from returning to this magnificent Donut dealer this winter. Donuts should take priority, right? Of course they should. But Donuts don’t pay very well, so the job won out. Thankfully Mrs. Blognut was able to make it down to FLA this year and picked up a few Yummies for me, which, despite being a day old by the time they reached my mouth, were still as good as I remember.

First up, the White-Frosted with Oreo-like Cookie Crumbs (I’m making up this name). The yeast-raised dough on the WFOCC is light and spacious on the inside, with a slightly firm, fried-ness to the exterior. It’s a similar to DD’s yeast dough but with a bit more flavor. The white frosting is rich and almost has the consistency of cream cheese frosting - like the kind on top of carrot cake – while the cookie crumbs nicely combine with the creamy frosting creating an Oreo-dunked-in-milk sensation.

My other well-traveled Donut is the Maple Frosted. The foundation is made of the same yeast dough as the WFOCC, but instead of white frosting and cookies, this one’s topped with thick layer of potent maple frosting. Really the only thing else to say about the Maple Frosted is that you should eat one.

So while not as fulfilling as an actual trip to Yummies, my two Donut souvenirs were the next best thing. And I definitely plan on making the trip next year, not only to eat Donuts, but also to catch a ride in Yummies’ new, brightly-colored Donut van. I imagine riding inside this thing would be akin to the mellowed-out, gluttonous enjoyment of riding inside Scooby’s smoky Mystery Machine, only with more Donuts.

Pictured Up Top: Plain Cake Donut partially eaten by Father-in-law Blognut.

Yummies Donuts
5005 State Road 776
Venice, Florida

Donut Scores:

WFOCC -

Maple Frosted -

Dear Blognut,

As an avid fan of the Blognot, I thought you’d like to hear about the infamous “Donas” of costa rica. After arriving in San Jose, Coast Rica after several delays I was quite hungry and had some time to kill before my flight to quepos. Outside the airport I noticed a food stand, and in the case stood the aforementioned Donas in all its apparent glory. However, I was very curious to see if expectation would be met, or if looks would be deceiving.

Upon glancing at the exterior of the Donas it looks very intriguing. It is very similar to something you might find at your local DD, but our usual chocolate icing had been replaced by a rather attractive “dolce de leche” type caramel glaze with a hint of chocolate. This seemed incredibly appealing! Upon cutting into the donas I was pleased to note its impressive interior structure. The air pockets seemed both appropriately placed and plentiful, and there appeared to be a slight glisten that hinted at the perfect moist interior.

But alas, we were fooled by this deceitful confection. With first bite it was apparent that the caramel icing was cloyingly over-sweet, the glisten was not moisture but un-emulsified fat and the donas was rather dry, albeit greasy.

Overall I would say the Donas was a big disappointment, and this doughnut nut will stick with his Krispy Kremes, thank you very much.

Kind regards,

Manuel Antonio

With Parisian Nuts and VooDoo Part 2 slated for next week, Blognut-in-law has decided to step in and fill our pages with a travel tale of her own.

This life-experienced roving researcher, and ancestor of Blognut and Yuk, was given the task of pursuing the best doughnut in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I felt up to this, as the pursuit of doughnuts has been given a high priority in our family.

Jackson is a small town. It is wealthy and western. After a lengthy two hour search, and the questioning of many witnesses, this researcher could not find a single doughnut. I inquired extensively and no one knew where to find doughnuts. Perhaps that is why they don’t call it Doughnut Hole, Wyoming.

I happened to be only one of a dozen other life experienced folks touring Jackson Hole and the Grand Tetons. My cohort’s culinary finds consisted of game and ice cream. At any rate, the most promising eatery for something close to a doughnut was “The Bunnery” a bakery and restaurant at Hole in the Wall in Jackson Hole. They offered some delicious looking baked goods and we chose the Sticky bun (Cinnamon roll). It was nice and large.

We brown-bagged it and loaded it into the van. Our first stop was at Lewis Falls….chosen as much for it’s port-a-potty as it’s beauty (although it WAS beautiful). We divvied up the bun into 12 pieces (yes, it was large enough) and tasted, savored and rated. We gave it a 7 because although the crust was nice and flaky, the raisins soft and delicious, we found it a bit on the dry side. It certainly qualified as being sticky. We just have one question! What’s a doughnut junkie to do in Jackson?

Just a few of Blognut-in-law’s traveling companions.

VooDoo Doughnut
22 SW 3rd Avenue
Portland, OR

This is the second in a two-part series on doughnuts of the Pacific Northwest by guest blogger and field correspondant, The Beta Blognut.

Walking towards this most-hallowed of doughnuteries, on a record-breaking hot day in Portland (the Portland mercury (not the weekly paper) will top out at 102 degrees before the day is done), the Beta Blognut feels that, in the midst of such heat, he is in fact on a pilgrimage of sorts, towards the Mecca of all Doughnuts, certain that he is about to obtain the godhead that can only occur in a perfectly deep-fried glob of dough. Surely, VooDoo Doughnut is that locale, the center of the doughnut universe.

For the past month, he has studied the VooDoo Doughnut website, fortifying his blood sugar and fantasizing about which doughnut he will imbibe first. The most surprising aspect of VooDoo when he finally espies it in the distance is how low-key the storefront is in real-life. Inside, counter space is compact, with only about six seats for ‘nutters in the entire joint. But what is physical reality when the sign outside proclaims that the magic is within the hole itself, enlightenment radiating outwards from the void?

To prove that things never go as planned, he is crestfallen to learn that his most-anticipated treat, the Robitussin Doughnut, has been temporarily suspended by the FDA. What’s worse, they are all out of maple bars as well, that captivating treat that encapsulates that beatific breakfast moment all Southerners know and love: when the maple syrup hits the cooked pork on their plate. That conjoining of sweet and savory in its earthly ‘nut shape, in the form of a maple bar with a strip of bacon cooked on top is not available, and the Beta Blognut scrambles for Plan B.

He is helped by taking in all of the scenery: a giant doughnut hangs as if some sort of cathedral crucifix, a top shelf revealing skulls and skeletons. And while the picture here shows a glow-in-the-dark Satan cup, VooDoo Doughnut is balanced between godliness and devilishness in the most delicious way. You can even get married here, Beta Blognut is informed, and the shop holds about four ceremonies a month.

Most mesmerizing is the Lazy Susan that spins each and every concoction of the day before his eyes. The more compact cake doughnuts are on the lowest tier, while the colorful, puffy specialties whir in the middle. The top shelf is reserved for tokens, geegaws, and magical totems, their power evident as he stares deeper into the display case. Somehow able to be aroused from his transfixed state, he embraces the paradox that is reality and invokes the No Name Doughnut by name, proceeding from there.

Starting the day off healthy, he partakes in the Vegan Chic-O-Stik. That most-neglected of Halloween candies, its flaky, B-list of Butterfinger-guts gets reclaimed and elevated back to its proper place in the candy pantheon. Raised up on high by a dairy-free cruelty-free cake that draws on a batter of bananas and vanilla for its flavor, just the ‘nut is a delight in and of itself. The texture of crumpled Chic-O-Stiks on top and a smooth white frosting brings the three textures into a combined sensation somehow distinct from their separate identities. Maybe in the middle of the doughnut is where it all meets. Beta Blognut knows that he will never laugh at either Chic-O-Stiks or the idea of a vegan doughnut ever again. He has seen the light and it tastes divine.

“Surely not every VooDoo Doughnut can be perfect,” Beta Blognut says out loud, his body trembling as double-shot Americanos from Stumptown whiz through his bloodstream along with body-shivering amounts of sugar. Yes, VooDoo Doughnut is just about as awesome as San Dimas High Football (which rules, in case you haven’t seen Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure), awesome enough to name this ‘nut after said flick. Another compact cake, this deceives the Beta Blognut for a second, as rather than being a chocolate on top of chocolate on top of chocolate, the cake itself is actually yellow. As a foundational sort of ‘nut, it’s exquisite, yet its simplicity after such tasty tongue fireworks makes it feel slightly out of context. Ever so gently, he is brought back down to terra firma.

The memory of the Chic-O-Stik still fresh on his palette, he reverts back to his country’s tradition of Butterfingers and patriotic doughnut batter created by hard-working Americans and the bodies of cows and chickens. The quick glimpse of a baker sans shirt behind the counter (his sweaty Adonis belt on display) is not enough to dissuade him from partaking in yet another ‘nut. To his delight, the Butterfinger is a chocolate cake with white icing, every available surface crammed with shards of Butterfingery goodness. Not too moist, the combo melts perfectly in his mouth. What from the outside seems to be overkill by combining ‘nut with candy bar is in fact perfection.

And so he tackles the mystery of the unnameable head-on, as if he were about to approach either JHVH (whose name is unpronounceable), or Allah, who has a thousand names, none of which can be remembered in the throws of such soaring sugar levels. This is the only non-cake doughnut he orders at VooDoo, and the body of the nut is fluffy, almost cotton candy-esque. One of VooDoo’s cereal-topped specialties (he also spies Cocoa Puffs, Captain Crunch, and Fruit Loops on a few others), this sprinkles crispy rice on top of a chocolate icing, the entire thing then drizzled with a creamy peanut butter. The temptation for a common ‘nut maker would be to make the PB the equal of the chocolate, so that it evokes that balance in a Reese’s cup. And from the success of the Butterfinger concoction above, it’d be easy for VooDoo to stay that route, alchemically creating doughnuts out of classic candy bars. Here, the PB merely hints at its presence, an undercurrent to the delirious mix of airy, ethereal crispiness and the earthly pleasures of a good ‘nut. As the I Ching says, when heaven and earth are in balance, it makes for a fantastic ‘nut.

Doughnut Scores:

Vegan Chic-O-Stik 10.0
San Dimas 9.1
Butterfinger Ring 10.0
No Name 10.0