The Mid-Atlantic has in recent years become somewhat of a Donut gray zone - you’ve got DD moving in from the Northeast, and the KK influence from down South, but really no unique Donut identity of its own. Well thanks to a brightly-colored, wrinkly mini-chain, this Donut dearth appears to be quickly vanishing.

The Fractured Prune was started in 1976 in Ocean City, Maryland, and has been supplying hoards of sun screen-coated, fanny pack-toting board-walkers with customized Donut fare ever since. Founder Tom Parshall chose the name to honor a woman named Prunella who once owned much of the land around Ocean City, and who incidentally was the county ping-pong champion in 1895. She also had a penchant for more extreme sports, competing against men in ice skating, skiing and tennis. She was a brittle specimen and would often return from such events in a wheel chair or on crutches, earning her the moniker Fractured Prunella. Why Tom thought it would be a good idea to take this women’s name, liken it to the fruit it most resembles and develop a horrifying purple mascot in its honor, I have no idea. Because seriously, could there be a worse name for a Donut shop? But evidently Tom knew what he was doing – his creation has since become a huge regional success, with 12 franchises in Maryland alone, 1 in Virginia, 1 in DC, and a sprinkling of others in places like Ohio, North Carolina and Florida.

What separates the FP from many of its peers is their customer-specific fare – if not happy with menu items patrons can instead chose their own glazes and toppings. It’s kind of like the Prune is Wendy’s and Dunkin and Krispy are McD’s you know?

So over the weekend I was in DC visiting a slew of college/high school friends, many of whom remember me better for my “bagel consuming” tendencies rather than Donut ingestion. But happily I’m able to talk two buddies into accompanying me to the newly-opened Fractured Prune in Dupont Circle. First we’ve got ACB, a bearded cemetery historian who bears a striking resemblance in temperament and attire to The Dude. Then there’s 4-beer Mikey, who earned this designation a few years back after a particularly hideous emetic episode and now enjoys positioning things on the global scale. While my companions only enjoy Donuts on a sporadic basis at best, both have well-groomed palates when it comes to unhealthy sources of energy and are more than helpful in assessing our order:

Now right off the bat I’ll say that there’s one major flaw in what the Prune has to offer, that being the dough. All of their Donuts are constructed of a simple cake dough with little flavor, save that generic “fried” taste generally reserved for homemade Donuts and Zeppole. But they make up for this lack with an eclectic array of mostly-satisfying toppings.

We start with the Strawberry Shortcake. The sweet and gooey strawberry glaze is a perfect representation of the macerated strawberries generally piled atop a shortcake, and is balanced in taste and texture by crumbled bits of graham cracker. The whole thing is dusted with an extra layer of sweetness in the form of powdered sugar. Our team of tasters is impressed.

Next up, the Morning Buzz. A flavorful mocha glaze covered in Oreo cookie crumbs makes for another fine Donut. But think about it, if you cake something in smashed Oreos, you really can’t go wrong in terms of flavor.

The French Toast. I was anticipating this Donut most of all due to my love of both maple glaze and cinnamon-sugar mixtures – both of which smother the Fractured Prune’s French Toast variety. All three of us agree it tastes nearly like the real thing.

Blueberry Hill. In true Fats style, the Prune invites diners to “Find Your Thrill” when munching on this one. But all we find is a mess of artificial tasting blueberry sludge and too much powdered sugar.

And for our final two, we create our own. First, the simple Raspberry Glazed echoes the artificiality found in the Blueberry Hill. We’ve now learned to avoid any unadulterated fruit varieties. And finally, the Honey Glazed with Graham Cracker Crumbs. A sweet, crunchy and wholly satisfying finish.

Before long ACB runs outside in the midst of a sugar fit in search of savory remediation at the Gyro shack next door. Mike and I are left to clean up the detritus of our feast, him gawking at the curvaceous Russian counter girl (sorry Suz) and me with a pant-load of dried glaze stuck to my camera lens.

The Fractured Prune Donut Shoppe
2153 P Street NW
Washington DC

Donut Scores:

Strawberry Shortcake -

Morning Buzz -

French Toast -

Raspberry Glazed -

Blueberry Hill -

Honey Glazed and Graham Crackers -

Blognut would like to wish Blognut a happy 1 year anniversary.

This idiotic Donut blog has come a long way since its humble beginnings at the Formica tables of the Donut House. From a Tang-flavored Donut in Portland, to a buttermilk high atop a 10,000 foot Hawaiian volcano, to rock-hard Parisian atrocities on the streets of the Left Bank, over the past 12 months I’ve tried my hardest to provide you, the readers, with the most objective, practical and flavorful Donut commentary I could manage. Hopefully I’ve convinced some of you of the limitless potential in a wad a fried dough, or at very least helped reinforce your previously existing Donut appreciation. And thanks to all of you who’ve provided support, recipes, and most importanly, Donut shop recommendations - I owe each and every one of you a coffee and a Donut.

So in honor of Blognut’s year anniversary, I’ve compiled a list of the top ten Donuts I consumed over the past year. Enjoy, and thanks for reading.

#10) The Doughnut Plant - Peanut Butter Glazed with Banana Cream Filling

An Elvis-inspired banana cream-stuffed ring coated in a peanut-y glaze.

#9) Banbury Cross - Cinnamon

Cinnamon crumb goodness in Morman country.

#8) The Donut Pub - Black and White Boston Creme

A donut-y twist on the classic NYC black and white cookie stuffed with Boston’s finest.

#7) Yummies Donuts - Honey-Glazed Blossom

Honey-infused cake dough shaped like a boomerang.

#6) Spudnuts - Cherry Cinnamon

A bumpy take on the classic cinnamon bun with cherry-infused glaze.

#5) Voodoo Doughnut - Butter-fingering

Devil’s food cake dough dowsed with vanilla frosted and shattered Butterfinger.

#4) Mike’s Donuts - Plain Glazed

Simple, sweet and satisfying.

#3) The Doughnut Plant - Tres Leches

Mark Israel’s finest creation: butter cake soaked in evaporated milk, condensed milk, and cream, just like the traditional Mexican cake.

#2) Voodoo Doughnut - Dominic the Cat

A one-of-a-kind Voodoo creation modeled after my big-boned feline Dominic.

#1) Spudnuts - Plain Glazed

A cinnamon-spiked, potato flour dough, coated with a subtle glaze straight out of Charlottesville, Virginia. Simply the finest Donut of all. Please disregard the cows.

In the wake of middle-finger flashing Aqua Teen Moon Men, Boston’s security forces are on the look out for any and all sources of potential threat, no matter how soft, sweet and satisfying.

Over the weekend, before departing on a Costa Rican excursion, Sister-in-Law-Blognut spotted tray after tray of Donuts being sent through the X-ray machine at Logan Airport. And though it was a weary-eyed 4:45 in the morning, she was able to snap a pic of the suspect pastries (thanks Al). The incident reminds me of the time my BBQ sandwich had to go through security at Richmond International.

Donut Security.

Edward Hopper’s 1927 oil-on-canvas Automat depicts a forlorn looking girl sipping coffee by herself in an automat, which, in case you didn’t know, is essentially a room full of coin-operated fast food vending machines. Hopper’s work is said to depict the urban alienation that occurs when once-social practices like going out for a bite become completely automatic, rendering human-to-human interaction unnecessary. While a plausible interpretation, Blognut has an alternate theory to explain the girl’s woes –simply that the automat she’s chosen doesn’t offer Donuts. Too bad us New Yorker’s can’t relate, because thanks to BAMN! we have automatic Donut access 24 hours a day.

BAMN! with icicles.

Founded by NYU Business School grad David Leong, and another guy named Nobu who writes Haikus, BAMN! opened just last year on St. Mark’s Place in the East Village. The place is a sort of homage to the classic Horn & Hardart automats which once pervaded our Northeastern cities. The first H & H opened in Philly in 1902 as a knock-off of the Quisiana Automat in Berlin , while the first NYC location popped up in 1912. By the 50s and 60s the automatic format was gradually snuffed out by America’s growing fascination with fast-food, cars and golden arches – and probably also something to do with the fact that inflation made buying food with coins a pain in the ass (automats were not equipped to accept paper money).

Automatic foods.

BAMN!’s fare is based in classic, over-processed American comfort food with an “Asian twist.” Sliders. Hot dogs. Pizza, Mac & cheese. PB & J croquettes. Hawaiian-inspired Spam sushi. Pork buns. And like I said, Donuts. (Oh yeah, and they’ve got Belgian frites with 39 different sauces too).

BAMN! Donuts.

BAMN! refers to their Donuts as “Japanese.” I assume this label stems from their resemblance to the classic ball of Okinawian fried dough, the Sata Andagi. But for us Westerners, all you really need to know is that they cost $1.00 American (like their ancestors, change only) and look and taste like zeppole. Basically just straight-foward, unflavored, yeast-raised dough covered in powdered sugar, BAMN!’s Donuts certainly don’t have much in the way a flavor. But having flavor isn’t the point, right? They’re instead meant to sponge up booze from the stomachs of East Village all-nighters, while providing the kitsch and nostalgia of automatic food retrieval, which they do wonderfully.

“Japanese” Donuts.

So if you’re in the market for a fast and super-cheap late-night sugar fix, but have absolutely no requirement that your Donuts actually taste good, then definitely hit up BAMN!. Otherwise, I’d stick with the more corporate all-night alternative.

BAMN!
37 St. Mark’s Place
East Village, NYC

BAMN! Donut Scores:

Flavor -

Practicality -

Krispy Kreme’s Valentine’s Day yeast-raised Doughnuts.

I have to admit, when Holey Donuts! first approached me about trying their groundbreaking low-fat, trans fat-free gourmet Donuts, I was a little skeptical. Over the years, Blognut’s palette, and hopefully my arteries, have grown accustomed to the addictive satisfaction of nutrionally-useless partially-hydrogenated oil, and the idea of a so-called “healthy” Donut seemed completely oxymoronic. But healthy or not, Blognut can’t refuse complimentary Donuts, and before I knew it, four dozen Holey Donuts! were bouncing around the back of a Fed-Ex truck bound for my apartment.

Holey Donuts! was founded just last year by a fellow called Frank in Bayridge, Brooklyn. Frank chose the name after biting into his new creation for the first time and proclaiming “Holy Shit! These are really good.”The product has been featured on CBS This Morning, and in numerous print publications, and has garnered a respectable celebrity following including Kathy Griffen, Tori Spelling, Ali Landry (HBO’s Entourage), Fergi from the Black Eyed Peas and Jason Giambi. But even more beneficial to Holey’s growing popularity was their glowing endorsement from the Food Network’s Rachael Ray, who in her monthly magazine, Every Day with Rachael Ray, was quoted as saying “Okay, full disclosure: I like Holey Donuts so much that I invested in the company. They’re sinfully tasty and lower in fat and calories than regular doughnuts. You gotta try ‘em to believe ‘em!” Oddly, in an email interview, Frank later tells me she’s not actually an investor – suspicious behavior Rachael.

Now this guy Frank has got to be some kind of a marketing genius. Because playing in the background of www.holeydonuts.net is the gentle croon of Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, who you may remember as the 750 lb ukulele player whose medley of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and “What a Wonderful World” appeared in both Finding Forrester and Meet Joe Black. It’s like a subliminal reminder from Holey Donuts! that if you eat too many of these:

Or these:

You’ll end up looking like this:

I’m not even sure Donnie Deutsch could have thought of this.

But moving on, just how healthy are these Holey Donuts! you ask? Let’s have a look at the specs:

All of HD!’s 23 varieties contain between 3 and 4 grams of fat, compared with around 20 grams present in most traditional Donuts (so it’s like you can eat 6 Holeys at the cardiovascular price of 1). Plus Holey Donuts have calorie counts ranging from 160 to 275, roughly 25% lower than competitors. And most important of all, like I said earlier they’re completely devoid of trans-fats. Oh, and I almost forgot their new line of Cinnamon Rolls, which are even more impressive in terms of caloric content and fat profile:

It’s almost like they’re good for you.

Now before I start throwing around gustatory adjectives and commenting on how Holey Donuts! taste, let’s first talk about the over-the-top way in which my Donuts arrive.

First, a Fed-Ex guy shows up at my door holding two packages. Given the size of the boxes, I thought maybe Mrs. Blognut had ordered us a new exercise bike. Turns out it’s actually four dozen Holey Donuts cushioned by the company’s extreme packaging technique. I tear open the boxes, only to find two more Styrofoam containers waiting inside marked “Perishable.” And inside these, still more boxes, this time resting among several jagged chunks of dry ice giving the whole experience a “Weird Science” kind of feel. I open the third series of boxes and finally, Donuts.

Perishable.

Dry Ice.

Giant boxes.

There are two ways to prepare Holey Donuts! once they’ve arrived. You can either let them thaw for 1 to 2 hours – the preferred method – or for those of you seeking immediate Donut satisfaction, a 10-15 second zap in the microwave will do just fine (although in this case one must beware of overly-melted frosting and overly-sticky hands). Any extras can be frozen until you’re ready to eat.

Donuts on Sticks.

HD! has four different variety boxes of Donuts available (of which I received two), plus the cinnamon rolls I mentioned earlier, plus a novelty item called “Donut on a Stick,” which should really be called “Donut on a Spoon,” because it’s actually on a spoon. After having a few friends over to dine on my well-packaged delivery, we come to a consensus, agreeing that the secret to Holey Donuts is in the toppings and the filling. The yeast dough itself just tastes like Wonder Bread (the company avoids deep frying hence the lack of flavor). But the Holey Donuts! trick is cramming and covering this relatively bland base with as much decadence as possible. Which tells you just how bad trans-fats really are – the fact that a Donut covered in sugary frosting and rich chocolate is still 6 times healthier than say, a Krispy Kreme. Well, maybe “healthier” isn’t the right word. More like .1666 times not as bad for you. How’s that?

And now the Donuts:

Box #4.

Holey Donuts! box #4 contains four ringed varieties: Caramel Vanilla, Black and White, Strawberry Swirl and Marble Frosted. The caramel and chocolate toppings are impressive and completely un-artificial tasting. However, the same can’t be said for the swirl of bright red strawberry goo. While far more satisfying than I’d expected, the ringed varieties just don’t have enough flavor-distraction from the lackluster Wonder-dough. But what the ringed Donuts lack in flavor, is more than made up for by the filled varieties.

Box #1 contains Boston Crème Cookie Crumb, Coconut Creme Pie, Apple Caramel and Raspberry Crumb. The Boston Creme tastes every bit as rich and creamy as standard Pop-Donut issue, and the cookie crumbs on top taste like an oreo-ice cream cone hybird – really one of the more intersting Donuts I’ve tasted. The Apple Caramel has essentially the same topping as the ringed Caramel Vanilla, only this time an ample wad of apple pie filling provides a much-needed flavor boost. It kind of tastes like the filling you’d get at McDonald’s stuffed inside a turnover.

Apple filling.

While not as earth shattering as its calorie-packed cousin from the Doughnut Plant, thanks to more rich Boston Crème and loads of shaved coconut, the Coconut Crème Pie is by a landslide, Blognut’s favorite Holey Donut. The Raspberry Crumb is definitely bringing up the rear of Box #1. While the crumbs are a tasty, watered version of those found atop an Entennmen’s crumb cake, the raspberry filling has a slight artificial quality. Don’t get me wrong, I still ate all three, they’re just not quite as good as the rest.

The finest Holey Donut.

But probably the safest bet of all the Holey Donut! varieties boxes are the Cinnamon Rolls. Every bit as good a Cinnabon or a TJ’s Cinnamon, the swirled dough is smothered in sweet frosting and cinnamon goodness. A really impressive Holey Donut!. And lasty, the Donuts on Sticks are essentially triangular versions of the Coconut and Boston Cremes impaled with a plastic spoon. So no further flavor descriptions are necessary.

Rolls.

So I have to admit, this whole experience was really weird. From the moment the Fed-Ex guy dropped off two enormous boxes, to the giant hunks of dry ice on my floor, to my now-filled-with-frozen-Donuts freezer. But CEO Frank has been more than helpful in providing me with information for this piece, and his Donuts far exceeded my expectations for what a so-called “healthy” Donut could achieve. While obtaining a dozen Holey Donuts! may seem like a lot of effort, they really do make a great late-night snack.

While Holey Donuts! doesn’t plan on opening any retail stores anytime soon (at one point there was one on Nassau Street in Manhattan, which to my knowledge, has since closed), they’ve recently scored a contract with diet delivery service Zone Chefs, and plan to move into the supermarket sector in the coming year. So all of us here at Blognut (meaning me) would like to wish Holey Donuts! Frank a hearty “Good Luck” in his quest to health-ify the world’s finest food. But I have to ask, is there anyway you can stop using so much packaging material? If you keep this up, they’ll have to designate a special Holey Donuts! landfill out in Jersey somewhere to house all the non-biodegradable Styrofoam you go through!

Filled Holey Donuts!.

If there’s one thing more prevalent in and around Amherst, Massachusetts than Colleges and Universities, it’s Donuts. This is primarily due to the fact that there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts just about every 5 feet in Massachusetts (the Donut Goliath started in Quincy, Mass in 1950 and has since enjoyed a state-wide Donut-Monopoly). But thankfully the state still manages to harbor one of the best independent Donut scenes in the country. And nowhere is the mom-and-pop Donut shop tastier than at Hadley, Mass’s The Donut Man (however, keep in mind I’ve not yet visited Kane’s).

On the way home from a recent weekend getaway to Brattleboro, Vermont in which I scored/stole a Tim Horton’s Donut plate, Mrs. Blognut and I stop off in Amherst, Mass to browse the vinyl at Mystery Train Records – I land unscratched selections from the Stones, the Kinks and the Faces. On the way out of town, the keen-eyed Mrs. B scares the filling out of me with her high-decibel pastry-proclamation:

“DONUTS!!!”

There, resting quietly on the shoulder of Route 9 (Russell Street), sits The Donut Man.

The décor is nothing special – plain white walls, generic faux-Formica tables – and I’m 99% sure the place used to be a bank, given the drive-up window and ATM card slot beside the front door. But the fare more than makes up for the bland milieu:

Used to be a bank.
First Course: Apple Cider Glazed and Cherry Glazed.

The Apple Cider has everything I wish most Orchard-born apple cider Donuts would have – hearty cake dough with a complex, spicy, clove-y and apple-y flavor. Enveloping this satisfying core is a thin and not-too-sweet layer of glaze in perfect surface area to Donut-volume ratio. Save the oily-decadence that pops out of the fryer on Carter Mountain in Charlottesville, VA, this is the finest cider Donut Blognut has dined on.

Apple Cider Glazed.

The Cherry’s composed of equally hearty dough, this time interspersed with bright red cherry patches. Given the neon coloration, I’m pleasantly surprised when the flavor is far from artificial - it actually tastes like cherries. Again, a perfectly-thin layer of sugary glaze coats the surface.

Cherry Glazed.

Second Course: Sugar-Coated Apple Cider and Glazed Cruller (expect an upcoming historical expose based upon the numerous regional variations and mispronunciations of this curled Donut).

Apple Cider Sugar-Coated.

The Cider Glazed is not enough. Before leaving I saunter to the counter and order the Donut Man’s other cider variation, the Sugar-Coated Apple Cider Donut. As a consolation for showing enough appreciation to place two entirely separate Donut orders, the Donut Man throws in a complimentary Glazed Cruller.

Again, the Cider is tops – essentially the same verbiage applies that I used to describe the Cider Glazed, only this time with chunky, granulated sugar mingling on the surface. And for someone who detests crullers – primarily for the same reason I detest many egg-based dishes, that being that they’re too eggy – this one is solid, and has enough of the sugary simplicity of a plain glazed that I’m able to down half before depositing the rest in my R2D2-shaped trashcan. Usually I chuck a cruller after only one bite. So I’d like to make it clear that my disposing of the Donut Man’s cruller in no way reflects the quality of their Donuts. I just hate the egginess of crullers.

So with two courses of top-notch Donuts in me, I’ve decided that I love the Donut Man and must visit him again. Most likely I’ll sell Mrs. Blognut on another trip to New England-proper with notions of maple syrup, cross country skiing and “getting away from it all,” but we all (her included) know the real motivation behind our next visit.

The Donut Man
142 Russell Street
Hadley, MA

Donut Scores:

Apple Cider Glazed -

Cherry Glazed -

Apple Cider Sugar Coated -

Glazed Cruller -