Alright, as promised, Halloween Munchkins from Dunkin. Plus a slew of other holiday-appropriate Donuts.

So after three trips to my local Brooklyn DD, they finally had Halloween Munchkins in stock. And what a let down. I mean, you’d think the biggest Donut-dealer in the universe could come up with something a bit more inventive than a glazed cake covered in orange and yellow sprinkles. Like say for example, this scary-ass Pumpkin-shaped offering from Krispy Kreme, which we scored at the KK down the street from Graceland in Memphis (yes, Blognut somehow ended up in Tennessee and Mississippi over the weekend, resulting in some top-notch Donut-eating).

This Doughnut wasn’t all that impressive either. The KK ad campaign for these terrifying creations deemed them “pumpkin shaped”Halloween Doughnuts. And the photo on KK’s website shows them as having both prominent stems and well-defined facial features. Not the case. Maybe the Doughnut-maker at this particular Kreme was hungover or something, but mine was a perfectly round, yeast raised Doughnut. Where was the stem Blognut asks?! And what’s with the horrific frosting job? It looks like the eyes, nose and mouth were painted on in the backseat of a highspeed cab.

But worst of all, the Doughnut was nearly tasteless. It’s pretty hard to mess up frosting, but Krispy Kreme has succeeded. The orange goo topping our “Halloween Doughnut” tasted like kindergarten paste, only blander. Plus it had that bitter bite that comes from using too much food dye. And I apologize for the rant, but it didn’t have any filling. What kind of a hole-less Doughnut doesn’t have filling?! That’s the whole reason the hole was put there in the first place, so we didn’t have to waste time with a glob of taste-less dough in the middle.

But wait a minute. Maybe Krispy Kreme has succeeded in their attempt at seasonality. Because afterall, this was one of the most horrifying Doughnuts I’ve ever seen or tasted.

I also tried KK’s more traditional Halloween-themed Doughnut, the Pumpkin Spice (not shown). And I will say that it partially redeemed the hideous pumpkin head. Soft and spicy innards with a firm exterior made for a solid seasonal Doughnut.

Alright, next up is Starbucks. All fall this mom-and-pop coffee shop has been serving a line of pumpkin-flavored eats and drinks. Mainly because they’re a warm organization. One that knows the importance of small-town America, and the comforts of a warm muffin fresh from the oven and a cup of hot apple cider. Blognut has tried none of said offerings, save the Pumpkin Spice Doughnut.

Now Starbucks’ Doughnuts are generally pretty tasty. But something was afoul with their attempt at capturing autumn in a Nut. The cake was too soft, almost as if it hadn’t been fried long enough. And while it did have loads of fall spice – cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves – the flavors felt slightly artificial, sort of like a Duncan Hines spice cake or something. So while OK, it’s certainly not my favorite seasonal Doughnut of the year.

But there’s a twist to the Starbucks tale. While Mrs. Blognut and I were in Portland last month, we noticed that local Bucks were advertising Top Pot Doughnuts, the famed Seattle-based indie Doughnut shop specializing in ostentation (field-correspondent Beta Blognut covered TPD for us back in July and was more than impressed). And it’s too bad this partnership can’t be extended across the country, for Top Pot’s Pumpkin Spice is far better than Starbucks’. Their dough is full-bodied and hearty, while the Doughnut-exterior is almost crisp. And the spices take more of a subservient role to the pumpkin which is nice. So here’s to Top Pot, for frying up the first impressive Doughnut of this post.

And I’ve saved the best for last. As usual, the Doughnut Plant has outdone itself. A few weeks ago I stopped in Joe for a coffee and a Doughnut (I was well aware that Joe only stocks Doughnuts from the Plant). Being that it was a crisp fall day, I went with their Pumpkin Glazed Cake variety. And I mean it when I say that this Doughnut is in a class by itself. Complex and spicy dough, heavy on cinnamon and clove, with a pale orange, pumpkin-infused glaze. The dough is just what I’ve come to expect from Mark Israel, soft, moist and spongy – it fights back as I chew, making me work a bit for my reward. This is certainly the best seasonal Doughnut Blognut has ever tasted.

And that’s all. Happy Halloween.

Donut Scores:

Halloween Munckins -

Kreme “Pumpkin-shaped” -

Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Spice -

Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice -

Top Pot Pumpkin Spice -

Doughnut Plant Pumpkin Glazed -

This morning I stopped by Dunkin Donuts in hopes of getting a box of the new Halloween-themed seasonal Munchkins. “We haven’t gotten those yet,” said the DD employee, “but check back tomorrow.” At this point I got embarrassed that I’d made a special trip to Dunkin for their Halloween line, and without thinking said, “I’m getting these for a bunch of kids. I guess they’ll be OK with regular Munchkins.”

So instead of the post I had originally intended, I’ll show a montage of the regular Munchkins I bought out of guilt when I learned they didn’t have any seasonals.

Yeast-raised Glazed Munchkin.

Plain-cake Glazed Munchkin with a blurry Friends in the background (this was the one where Joey and Ross get locked on the roof).

Munchkin closeup.

While devoid of any All Hallows Munchkins, Dunkin was able to offer this full-sized Halloween Doughnut.

The only thing that qualifies this Nut as seasonal, is the tiny black-sugar bats, and I guess the purple and green sprinkles. Standard DD yeast-raised issue with tired chocolate frosting, plus a barely noticable attempt at Halloween imagery just doesn’t constitute an acceptable Nut. However, the Munchkins were of the consistently great quality we’ve come to expect from our favorite of all Pop-Nuts. But I think I’ll hold off on reviewing them until I score a box of season-appropriate Nut-holes.

And now a final thought on Munchkins:

Donut Score:

Seasonal Halloween Bat Donut -

…for giving our readership a boost.

You see, Bobby has this show on the Food Network called Throwdown with Bobby Flay. The premise has the red-headed wonder challenging cooks around the country to a “throwdown” involving that particular person’s strong suit. He’s taken on New Jersey’s own Butch in a BBQ competition, Staten Island’s Giorgio Giove in Pizza, and Louisville, Kentucky’s Lynn Winter (owner of Lynn’s Paradise Café) in breakfast. But last weekend Flay threwdown something a bit closer to Blognut’s stomach, the Doughnut.

Now for Bobby to prove himself a worthy Nut-maker, there’s really only one person that comes to mind for him to do battle against – the nation’s foremost artisanal Doughnut monger, Mark Israel, owner and operator of NYC’s Doughnut Plant. And that’s just what he did.

Throwdown is an awkward enterprise for two reasons. One, Bobby’s competitors have no idea that they’re about to be challenged. Basically the Food Network contacts them asking to do a feature. FN execs are like, “Yeah, we just want to follow you around for a week watching you cook. Then we’ll throw a big party and film it, sort of a grand finale for you to showcase your speciality to millions of viewers.” Then the person they’ve contacted is like, “Count me in. I gonna be on the Food Network. Kick ass!” But what the Network doesn’t tell the competitor, is that just when the party’s about to begin, they plan to send in world-renowned chef Bobby Flay with 2 professional assistants and $50,000 in high-end cooking equipment, to challenge them, and potentially rip away their one source of pride. It’s really pretty messed up if you ask Blognut. Because it’s not like these people asked to be challenged by one of the most accomplished chefs in the country. And it’s not like they can decline, as this would one, appear cowardly, and two, most likely ruin their chances of ever appearing on the Food Network again.

So the second weird aspect of Throwdown, is that friends and family members of whomever Bobby is battling, are used as judges, so Flay never really has a chance. Now I assume this is to skirt the painful awkwardness of BF actually winning. But on the other hand, it makes for boring, predictable TV. Now I think the Food Network has begun to realize this, because the last two Throwdown episodes I’ve seen (battle-Doughnut included) have used blinded judges. And how hard was it to watch when Bobby actually beat a small-time seafood chowder maker from Williamsburg Brooklyn?! Bobby shows up unannounced, embarrasses the hell out of the guy in front of all his friends, and drives off in his shiny black pickup back to his throne in Manhattan. This is just a really bad idea for a show, no matter how you spin it.

So back to Doughnuts. To celebrate the Doughnut Plant’s 7th anniversary, Mark Israel and co are throwing a Doughnut Disco on a West Manhattan pier. As expected, Mark thinks all the cameras are there to film the event for his Food Network profile. But then guess what? Bobby Flay shows up.

Mark looks stunned as Bobby explains what’s happening, but agrees to the throwdown (I really hate this word by the way). As bobby walks away, Mark’s expression turns agitated. “What is this?! He tricked me into this! I’m not doing it!” (or words to that effect). Then comes a shot of a nervous looking Flay – as if thinking, this has never happened before. Now what? Next we see Isreal’s assistant giving him a pep talk and finally announcing, “We’ll do it. We’ll do it.” The only catch is Mark refuses to make any Nuts from scratch. He says he doesn’t have the right equipment with him, and that he will only compete if he can use the pre-made Doughnuts he brought with him to the Disco. Flay agrees to the terms.

This whole episode really bothered me. The Doughnut plant is one of my all time favorite Nut-houses, and witnessing such childish behavior from its founder was upsetting.

Bobby starts by unveiling his ever-so-chefy blackberry and white-chocolate ganache-filled yeast-raised with hazelnuts. Mark counters with his Chocolate Blackout – a chocolate cake Doughnut stuffed with chocolate pudding – and a raspberry-glazed (the chunks of fresh fruit in the glaze look amazing). At this point I start salivating. But the competitors can only submit one Nut to the judges. So Mark pulls out his secret weapon – his popular Tres Leches Cake Doughnut. Based on the tradiaional Mexican cake recipe, the TL is a cake-Doughnut injected with three different types of milk.

Mark released the Tres Leches this past May in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Blognut was there to try it at which point Mark said, “We may have to keep this one on the menu. Everyone seems to love it.”

While we know the Tres Leches is a top-notch Nut (Blognut gave it a near perfect 9.8), Bobby’s sounds equally spectacular. He busts out a Bourbon Pecan-glazed (which he likens to a Paula Dean creation). Now they try each others. “That’s really good,” Bobby says with a mouthful of Doughnut. “Doughy,” says Mark in reaction to Flay’s. Why must this guy be so unlikable?

In walk the judges – two NYPD cops. When asked what they look for in a Doughnut, one of the cops responds, “I want them light and not messy, so I can eat them on the go.” They start with Bobby’s Bourbon Pecan. “It’s too gooey, and the nuts would get all over my uniform. Plus, it’s challenging to chew.” And now Mark’s. “It’s fresh and airy. Just what I look for in a Doughnut. I do like the flavor of the Bourbon Pecan, but it’s not quite there. The Tres Leches wins.”

Mark looks relieved and smirks at the camera. He exchanges a painfully awkward handshake with Bobby, who flashes a toothy faux smile. At the beginning of the show, Flay had praised the Doughnut Plant as being his favorite Doughnut shop, and reported being a regular customer. But I’m pretty sure, that thanks to an awful premise for a television show, and a catty, unreceptive Doughnut Maker named Mark, he’ll never set foot in the Plant again.

But like I said at the beginning of this post, THANK YOU Bobby for throwing down with Mr. Isreal, because thanks to hundreds of people a day Google-ing “Tres Leches Doughnut,” Blognut’s readership has nearly doubled.

Blognut would like to introduce our new and improved 5-Nut rating scale. In an effort to cram as many Doughnuts onto our site as possible, we’re doing away with the 10 point scale and replacing it with five delicious, miniature plain glazed Nuts. We will be assigning all previously-eaten Doughnuts a new rating in the coming weeks, so bear with us (and yes, we’ll be using half-Nuts).

5-Nut Rating Scale:

Don’t Eat This Nut -

Better Than No Nut -

OK Nut -

Choice Nut -

A Nut Among Nuts -

Continued from part 4

OK, so this is it. The fifth and final installment of Voodoo Revisited. I realize you’re all probably sick to death of me yammering about Pacific Northwest Nuts, with all their cereal ostentation and artificially-flavored powder. But a menu as extensive and outlandish as Voodoo’s deserves such attention, and who knows when Blognut will get to Portland again? Plus, how many Doughnut shops offer Swahili lessons every Monday night!?

You might think it’s unreasonable to visit the same Doughnut shop three times in one day. Especially since in part 3 we preached the importance of moderating one’s daily Nut intake. But this was our last day in Portland, and impending fear that this was our last chance to set foot inside the great Voodoo Doughnut for quite some time, drove our hunger to previously unattained levels. So with another cup of Stumpy joe in hand, Tuesday morning we entered Voodoo for the third-to-last time.

Though we only bought one Nut, it carried the weight of at least a dozen (both literally and figuratively). Named for the posse of assistants and friends who accompanied Elvis from 1956 until the day he died, the Memphis Mafia is infamous around Portland. You can’t be a super-sized banana fritter, topped with peanut butter, mounds of glaze, peanuts and chocolate chips and not build up some sort of a reputation. And how does it compare with The Doughnut Plant’s equally Elvis-inspired Peanut Butter Glazed stuffed with Banana Cream? Just as delicious but far more intimidating, with its mound of toppings and mercuric density. And while it definitely brings to mind the King’s classic grilled peanut butter and naner sandwich, the MM has much more happening in terms of flavor and texture thanks to the massive hardened globs of glaze, chocolate chips and crunchy peanuts. Plus the banana flavor is way more potent then you think it’s going to be. A Nut among Nuts, the Memphis Mafia is certainly near the top of the Voodoo roster.

Now I forget what exactly we did next. But I know we basically killed time until it felt appropriate to return to Voodoo without seeming insane to the girl working the register. “Hello again,” said the Doughnut Girl, “Back for more I see!” “Yep. Just wanted to see if you had any of those really big glazed Doughnuts?” “I assume you mean the Tex-ass. And no, we don’t. But if you check back in a few hours we should have some.” Perfect. Now we had an excuse to go back for a third time in one day. But as long as we were there, why not pick up a few Nuts to tide us over, you know?

So we ordered a Tang-fastic and a Butter Fingering (Voodoo just doesn’t stop with these cleverly perverse names). We ate them both in the car on the way to the Bridgeport Brewery in the Pearl District, similar to NYC’s Meatpacking district, minus all the idiots and celebrities.

The Tang-fastic was fang-tastic. A plain cake Nut with vanilla frosting, sprinkled with America’s favorite powdered kitsch (although I don’t know anyone who actually drinks it). And they definitely don’t skimp on the Tang, as you can see by the ever-so-orange photo above. The foundation for the Tang-fastic is Voodoo’s frosted plain cake (our first ever Voodoo Nut by the way - see Part 1), but the powerful Tangy bite shadows any semblence of taste similarity. And while the three mini marshmallows resting atop the Nut don’t do much in the way of flavor, they are nice to look at. Sort of a prize for getting to the center, like one of those European Christmas cakes with jewelry hidden inside. Except no one loses any teeth when they get to the marshmallows.

Next up, the Butter Fingering. Back in July, field-correspondent Beta Blognut doled out a perfect 10.0 to this candy-coated Nut (which he referred to as the Butterfinger Ring, and was appropriately reprimanded for). And after trying it for myself, I’d have to agree. Devil’s-food cake dough, vanilla frosting and loads of Butterfinger crumbs make for an absolutely perfect Nut. Voodoo has successfully joined one of my favorite Candy Bars (second only to 5th Avenue, the most underrated candy bar of all time) with my favorite of all foods. Well done.

For the next few hours we downed microbrews at Bridgeport, resting up for our final go at Voodoo.

Alright. We’d given them enough time to make the Tex-ass. It was nightfall and our plane would leave in two hours, so this was our last chance at the giant Nut. A short drive later and we found ourselves walking into Voodoo for the last time - a sad occasion for sure. But the three giant Doughnuts resting on a tray behind the counter soon lifted our mood. “We’ll have a Tex-ass please. And while you’re at it, throw in a Voodoo Man, a Peanut Butter Oreo (which I think is called the Ol’ Dirty Bastard) and a Bacon Maple Bar.” What a way to close our Portland Nut Experience - one Doughnut covered in greasy pork, one flaunting a pretzel phallus and one the size of my head (plus the Peanut Butter Oreo).

Voodoo Doll.

We stepped outside and while standing beneath the glowing Voodoo sign, bit deeply into our doughy voodoo doll. He bled raspberry jelly. Basically a chocolate-frosted jelly-filled, save the tiny pretzel stick protruding from his nether region, the Nut tasted far simpler than it looked.

We then pulled out the Peanut Butter Oreo, which is Voodoo at its best. A fat and airy ball of yeast dough smeared with chocolate icing, peanut butter and crumbled oreos, the PBO was absolutely REEE-DICULOUS. It’s certainly the most decadent Nut we had at Voodoo, but without the overwhelming sweetness of the cereal-based Nuts we swallowed in Part 2. It’s so complex, it’s hard to really know what’s happening while chewing it. A blast chocolate gives way to a powerful Oreoness, both of which disappear once the peanut butter hits. It’s a chewy, gobby mess of delicious.

Mrs. Blognut holding Tex-ass.

We then pulled out the Tex-ass. This was hands down the most impressive Nut we’d ever seen. Something about the plain-glazed simplicity inflated to such epic proportions had Blognut mesmerized - we just couldn’t bring ourselves to eat it. We passed it back and forth for nearly 10 minutes, neither of us able to make the first move. Instead we put it back in the box, agreeing to freeze it and try again next year on our anniversary. And that was it.

On the way to the airport Mrs. Blognut asked me if I was sick of doughnuts yet. “No,” I replied.

The next morning, sitting at our breakfast table, we dined on our final Voodoo Nut - the Bacon Maple Bar. A work of genius really, the BMB is the pancakes, the syrup and the bacon, all in one – it’s the complete breakfast. We savored every last bite of this salty-sweet creation, happy to be home, but longing for our next taste of Voodoo.

Voodoo Box.

Parting Shot.

Doughnut Scores:

Memphis Mafia -

Fang-tastic -

Butter Fingering -

Voodoo Doughnut (Voodoo Doll) -

ODB -

Maple Bacon Bar -

Tex-ass - score will be announced September 24th, 2007

Continued from part 3 (to get the most out of your Blognut experience, and to familiarize yourself with any necessary back-story, make sure to read Voodoo Revisited in chronological order)

It was now Monday morning. Having nearly kicked our sugar hangover, Mrs. Blognut and I were more than ready for our next batch of Doughnuts. We rolled up to Voodoo around 10:00 that morning agreeing to avoid anything even remotely involving cereal. Now Blognut loves Doughnuts. And Blognut loves eating lots of Doughnuts in a short amount of time. But the 5+ Nuts we had the day before may have been slightly over-ambitious. When embarking on a 4-day Doughnut binge, one must pace oneself. So this time we only ordered three: a Blazer Blunt, a Grape Ape, and an Arnold Palmer.

We then took our Bag of Nuts down the street to another Portland staple – Stumptown Coffee. With a DJ table in the back, and ambient electronica pulsing through the room, the ultra-modern Stumptown space definitely lacks the warm and friendly atmosphere most indie coffee shops try so hard to achieve. But they’re well aware of their disaffected coolness, happy to serve the slews of tattooed hipsters who pour into the place throughout the day. We each ordered a house blend, took a seat at a very Jetsons-looking V-shaped glass table in the back and prepared to take a long hard drag from the Blazer Blunt.

Most likely based on the assumption that NBA players like to smoke up, the BB was created in honor of the Portland Trailblazers. A cinnamon yeast donut, tapered just like the real thing, with maple frosting and blazing red sprinkles on the tip, this blunt could most definitely hold its own against Cheech and Chong’s fat zeppelin. On game days, if the Blazers score 85 points the Blunt sells for $.85, if they don’t it goes for $1. The dough is Voodoo’s standard issue yeast-raised – light, a little chewy and filled with negative space – coated with a perfectly balanced cinnamon-sugar mixture. The frosting harks back to our Sunday afternoon Maple Bar while the sprinkles provide a final bit of texture to this wonderful and innovative Nut. Plus the convenient elongated shape makes it easy to eat.

Once finished with both coffee and Blunt, we headed back to the hotel to pack up for our day trip to the rocky Oregon coast. It was here that we enjoyed our second Nut of the day, the Grape Ape. Again, the Ape is a yeast-raised Doughnut, but this time smeared with vanilla frosting and sprinkled with bright purple “grape powder” (whatever that is). This Nut is pure genius, really some of Voodoo’s finest work. There’s really not much to say about it other than that it tastes like a big swig of Grape Crush, and is so far our favorite Voodoo Doughnut.

Our final Nut of the day is another feat of flavor ingenuity, named for the famed summertime enjoyment, the Arnold Palmer (half iced tea and half lemonade). Just like the drink, this small, plain-cake Doughnut, topped with vanilla frosting and sprinkled with lemon and tea powder tastes light, sugary and refreshing. It soon has us sitting poolside with a lobster-red sun burn and a big bag of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers, a common Blognut childhood occurrence often accompanied by mom’s self-mixed Palmer. The best part of the AP is a single green Fruit Loop frozen mid-fall into the Doughnut hole.

We finished the Nut, hopped in the car and began our windy, mountainous drive to the coast.

Doughnut Scores:

Blazer Blunt -

Grape Ape -

Arnold Palmer -

To be continued…

Continued from Part 2

With the vow renewal behind us, Mrs. Blognut and I had two full days left in Portland with nothing left to do but celebrate by scarfing down as many Northwest Nuts as possible. And we didn’t waste any time. Before returning to our hotel the night of the ceremony, Tres made sure we had plenty of Voodoo to accompany our Dominic Doughnut (aka: best Doughnut of all time). He stuffed a box with a random assortment of Nuts and handed it to us on the way out. We said our goodbyes and thanked him for remarrying us beneath a giant Holy Doughnut, promising to return the next day for another batch of Nuts. As I mentioned in Part 2, that night we dined on Dominic. Three out of the five Doughnuts Tres had packed for us were topped with cereal, so we thought it best to save them for the morning.
So the next day we got up at sunrise (still on NYC time), called room service for a pot of Peet’s and opened our big pink box of Nuts. We started with the Triple Chocolate Penetration. It was absolutely insane - moist and dense devil’s food cake, rich and creamy chocolate frosting, and a massive collection of Cocoa Puffs stuck on top form a gooey hunk of chocolate decadence. I don’t know if it was the sugar, or the caffeine hiding in all the chocolate, but after finishing the TCP I felt like I’d mainlined a gallon of espresso. I was seriously running around the room like a rabid monkey (and I now knew where Tres gets all his mad energy from). The only downfall of this magnificent Nut was the slightly-stale Puffs. But I’m sure this was due to the fact that it had been nearly 18 hours since this TCP had been made. Cereal can only be exposed to air for so long before going bad, you know?

Not long after I came down from my frenzied sugar-haze, we bit into our second Nut of the morning – the Bloop Loops. Definitely the most colorful selection offered by Voodoo, the Bloop is a frosted yeast-raised Doughnut topped with loads of Fruit Loops (again, through no fault of Voodoo, mostly stale). If there’s one thing sweeter (sweet like sugar-sweet, not like “rad”) than a bunch of Cocoa Puffs stuck on a Doughnut, it’s a bunch of Fruit Loops stuck on a Doughnut. The light and airy yeast dough tried to bring the flavor down to earth, but went nearly unnoticed in the setting of such an intense sugar-overload. This Nut had me right back in the throws of hyperglycemic delusion and tasted every bit as good as its chocolate predecessor. It was arguably the sweetest thing I’ve ever eaten.

I lied about the Bloop Loops being the sweetest thing I’ve ever eaten. The Captain Crunch Doughnut (see above) was by far the sweetest thing I’ve had. Essentially identical to the Bloop, but with Captain Crunch’s Crunch Berries instead of Loops, this Nut was the most challenging yet. You know those pure maple sugar candies you get in places like Vermont or Western New York? And you know how they’re so sweet that after two bites your mouth starts to tingle and you’re in desperate need of a glass of salt water? Well this was sweeter. I tried analyzing the taste and producing some sort of description for you, the Blognut reader – but was only able to retain intermittent snippets of flavor in between waves of ensuing sugar shock. An occasional glint of creamy vanilla frosting with a periodic burst of faux-berry from the Crunch, but mostly just SUGAR! I was only able to stomach a few bites before I ceded victory and returned it to its home in the pink box. It would take three sessions spread throughout the day before I was able to finish it.

At this point things this got less exciting. But the simplicity of our last two Nuts was a welcome change after having downed three gaudy cereal-based varieties. The tiny Blueberry Cake tasted like DD’s Nut of the same name, but with a stronger blueberry pop, like the kind you get from those sugary canned berries in boxes of muffin mix. The Maple Bar also mimicked Dunkin’s version: soft and airy yeast-raised dough with an intensely maple frosting. Both were delicious.
So having eaten five Dougnuts that day, plus a few bites of Dominic, we decided to hold off on any more Nuts until the following day. We spent the afternoon downing hoppy Rogue Ales and contemplating which Voodoo selections to try next.

Rogue Ales Distillery and Public House.

Rogue Sampler: Imperial IPA, Brutel Bitter, Uberfest Pilsner and St. Rogue Red (plus underwear).

Doughnut scores:

Triple Chocolate Penetration -

Bloop Loops -

Captain Crunch -

Blueberry Cake -

Maple Bar -

Continued from part 1

After wetting our appetites with a Dirty Snowball, Mrs. Blognut and I trounce around Portland all afternoon anxiously awaiting our 9:00 PM vow renewal. We stop in one of the city’s umpteen vintage clothing shops (I think it was Red Light) and walk out with a gorgeous blue polyester blazer and an equally poly black neck tie to go with my jeans (entire vow renewal outfit = $10). Around 8:30 that night, we put on our formal wear and head over to Voodoo. In the car (a rented Ford Escape), Mrs. Blognut says to me, “Can you believe we’ve already been married an entire year!? I wonder how many doughnuts you’ve eaten during our first year of marriage?” “I lost count last October,” I respond.

When we arrive, the place is packed. Middle-aged couples, swarms of hipsters and the occasional homeless fellow, mill about the doorway. All brought together by the unifying power of the Nut. We step inside the tiny store space and check in with the Donut-Lady behind the counter. The next thing we know, a man with long red hair wearing an orange lei and a straw hat comes frantically running out of the kitchen as if peaking on some doughnut-fueled psychedelic sugar high. “Hi I’m Tres, like the number three in Spanish. So you’re the ones getting married, huh?” “We’re already married, we’re just getting our vows renewed” we tell him. “Well let’s get on with the wedding!!” he says, as he runs in the back to grab his “supplies.”

So this was our first meeting with Tres Shannon, who cofounded Voodoo three years ago with his Doughnut-Partner Kenneth “Cat Daddy” Pogson (whom Mrs. Blognut made the vow renewal arrangements with via email). With no prior Nut-Experience, the two of them enrolled in “Doughnut-School” in Los Angeles where they learned how to “handle a rolling pin” and apparently fed a maple bar to Brad Pitt. You can read the complete Voodoo story here.

Tres returns carrying a big pink box and asks us to stand under the Holy Doughnut (see The Biggest Doughnut We’ve Ever Seen in Part 1). “Open it,” he says. It seems Mrs. Blognut and the boys at Voodoo had conspired to create an enormous Nut-Representation of our cat Dominic. The three of us stare down into the box at what is most definitely the finest Doughnut we’ve ever laid eyes on.

“Life is like a doughnut,” says Tres, “well, actually more like a cruller.”He then asks us to each hold one side of the box while we tell the story of how we met. I won’t get into the mushy details here because afterall, this is a Doughnut blog and I intend not to lose focus. He takes the box from us and sets it on the counter beneath the giant Doughnut-Altar. He then has us hold hands. “Now look up at Isaac for spiritual guidance” (or something like this – I can’t remember what he said exactly). We look over our shoulders and for the first tim